How Did Your Parents Mess You Up? | Fiona Douglas | TEDxPuxi

Parenting is always a reflection of our best selves and our worst selves. Despite good intentions and efforts, every parent has …

48 COMMENTS

  1. And the most irritating things about the parents is that most of the terrible things you experienced from them can't even described as it could only be feeled and suffered.

  2. Aronald Payne Tonya Garrett Paige Mayfield y'all parents Mistreated since birth and I figured it out 😌 by those who knows y'all them personally. They beat hit by anything close to get. The problem y'all parents didn't want y'all. Neglected why. Following me. When going back to Leavenworth Kansas Marion apartment. Y'all suffering to pay attention to others. 911 enemies stalking harrassing gossiping is a different situation. Can't think about they estranged family friends mother's father's.

  3. my parents try to stop me from everything, even exercising and that is one of my best hobbies to do its really incredible what kind of world we live in nowadays 🤦‍♂️

  4. It is so weird, I actually explained the flaws in the parenting yet my parents say that I rather focus on all wrongs than rights. They say I am selfish and ungrateful. I am tired now, it is more than 16 years of emotional pain. I have matured from my attempts to suicide to give self psychiatric treatment, but does the pain really end? I am tired. I know I should not self-harm, I know I have to act more responsible and forgive, but it still hurts. Can I escape reality, please?

  5. As a character designer /visual development artist after I graduated from Vancouver film school in 2019 while I wanted to start and create my portfolio so that I can get a job easily and get noticed. My parents often try to step me away from my portfolio telling me to give up and be practical just apply and network people without a portfolio because negative people who work in the animation industry but doing practical technical stuff like vfx and 3D animation who are my parents contacts from family friends who constantly tell my parents it will never happen because concept art is difficult job to get and I am wasting time on just chasing my silly dream and only apply as a 3D animation or a vfx person. This discouraging me and made me depressed and so I overcame it and so I ignored them and worked hard on my portfolio developed it more and started applying for jobs and got freelance gigs, watch your videos and motivate myself more and find my happiness. But many years later in 2022 I became a senior character designer/ visual development artist(concept artist) in an animation company in Toronto working on an animation feature film collaborating with great people and making friends with positive people and starting to get noticed on Instagram because I was posting personal projects and doing a couple of fan art.

  6. Sending so much love to those in the comments, hoping you can see you’re not alone… and that there is hope – hang in there if you’re still in it. Please. It is possible for it to get better. 💚 Currently reading Pete Walker’s book on cPTSD which focuses on childhood trauma, it has been so helpful to me, bizarre how spot on it has been to my feelings and experiences – finally, validation that what I experienced was real. Finally cut ties with an abusive father two years ago…now I’m in a healthy, loving home with an incredible partner (after many years of only finding toxic/abusive friends, bosses, significant others – the pattern is broken!). At last, free to rest, to heal, to pursue what I love, to be loved, to be happy (or whatever emotion i’m feeling!), to reconnect with and be ME.

  7. I wish my grandmA die soon she IS VERY BAD AT BEING MY GRANDMOTHER.I DID EVERYTHING SHE SAID BUT SHE NEVER EVER SEE THAT WHAT I DID IS WORTH SOMETHING. MY COUSIN IS OLDER THAN ME AND MY GRANDMA NEVER EVER USE HER WHEN MY GRANDMA ASK HER SOMETHING AND SHE DIDNT ANSWER SHE JUST LET IT GO LIKE WTF AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?!

  8. My parents are loving. I get on well with them. I was raised in a stable home, but for the most part, they just cannot get along. There were plenty of shouting matches and snide remarks under my roof when I was growing up. Also, sadly, my parents can be very aggressive and passive aggressive while dealing with people and situations. Both have terrible tempers. This did teach me a valuable lesson: to approach life, especially stressful events and difficult people with a cool and diplomatic head. An angry person never wins.

  9. Exactly. Why isn't ideal parenting education made mandatory either part of the national curriculum on leaving school or a requirement before getting a marriage license?
    How else do you build a family friend ly society that values healthy relationships as a measure of success rather than material wealth?

  10. I made bad decisions and no I’m forced me to make them, however my parent did not do their job either. When I was a kid I don’t remember my parents doing a lot with me and I think if my parents offered better guidance things would be different

  11. I was severely abused as a child, drowned waterboarding style, beaten in the face,back of the head. Maltreated and traumatized by my father for many years. As a child it really had a big impact on my whole life and development, emotionally, socially, acedemically and mentally. How I interacted with people, my way of thinking, Depression , anxiety. Nightmares every night of drowning and beating.

    I wanted a normal life too like everyone else I also wanted a normal upbringing. No one deserves abuse! Especially a child in their most critical stage of development

  12. "How did your parents mess you up?"

    Me: (Takes out an entire list.)

    Hang in there guys, it gets better! I've thought about dying and running away multiple times, but it gets better! I'm still dealing with my toxic and abusive parents until I turn 18 most likely, because I know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's hard, but hang in there! I have to stay strong and be positive for myself and for all of you!

  13. my mum told me I'll always be alone and also die alone with nobody around me, she also drove over 100 miles per hour towards a brick wall threatening to kill us when I was about 10, it was petrifying, still gives me nightmares to this day, and that's without the abuse from my dad, he's even worse, I didn't even realise they were abusive until my late 20s.

  14. So what do today’s teenagers define toxic parenting? This one parent said that he told his kid to finish up theirs homework. The kid reacted by saying he wa king to cut himself because doing homework is too much for him🙄🙄🙄🙄🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

  15. I am 40 , I grow up in an abusive household . I lived there until 18 y.o. My mother is psychopath and my father had been abused from her and also very tyrannical .
    After I mover out I had almost no money or resources and I fight very badly and things seemed to go pretty good but then I met a bad guy and took for a couple of years a wrong way . Then I found a nice job but they exploited me for 7 years . Then I become depressed for 4 and then I manage to get better . Finally a therapist made me wrong at 37 when I was good . I feel tortured from my parents still now .

    Is no luck to have abusive parents and family 🙏🏻
    They destroy you to the core and even after I was unable to function properly in society .
    Please pray for me . I how I will manage to build a life now . So late . So bad .

  16. not sure if i will ever survive with my mental health" not here to tell the things that i had to deal with in young age or the things that im trying to deal with right now" but if there's something i knew from it that,it's how useless and small u feel in front of your parents and yeah unfortunately there are things we can't control as a minors and it's hard when u need to grow up in order to survive

  17. You people had it easy.I have faced every possible punishment and abuse from my parents. Beating for hours until I got unconcious,no food for days,buring several areas, throw hot boiling water,do every housework , babysit brother, beating with every possible household item. No play with other friends, fractured bones, no medical attention while being sick and way more….

  18. "Isn't it reasonable, to ask for at least the same level of systematic teaching a measuring of competence for parents as there is for drivers on the road?" Omg.. she just put into what I been saying for so long in a very articulate and eloquent way. YES!

  19. I am truly tired of my parents at this point. They want me to become a doctor, they spent so much money on my coaching. Never really asked me wether I wanted to be a doctor or not. And here I am, depressed and suicidal before the week of my exams. I wish I had a different life, I wish I had more understanding parents… My mom when i try to talk dismisses my worries. I can't even bring myself to talk to my dad. I want to leave my house but they won't let me leave unless I get a medical seat. I just…don't know what to do. Nobody to talk to, nobody to ask for help.

  20. Not an ounce of guilt and acknowledgement either. A lot of people know other people better than their own children. Damaged parents teaching their children to be damaged

  21. Imagine crying at 89. Aggressive behaviour is good if someone made you feel unworthy. If you don't get support from society you should stay strong and not let your abusers win in the battle. Inner struggles of our loved ones!

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