I became a dad at the age of 16 . One thing I’ve replied with my 13-year-old boy and 11-year-old daughter always give them unconditional love even if. Show empathy and everything that has to do with them. If they make a mistake, always empathize and find solutions. Don’t take anything personal . But always be firm and loving . Don’t be so firm and permissive. Kids hate when you set boundaries, but they hate it more when you don’t.
So my brother will not wear deodorant he games all day and smells really bad I don't saying anything unless its brought up … But today my mom brought it up while i took him out fishing saying "its OK son if you don't want to wear deodorant it OK its just body oder Jesus didnt wear deodorant "…..yet his bullied for smelling at school and I though I love him i can not be around him for long because he sticks …. it just feels like shes enabling him by treating him like a" baby "when his 15 teen and setting him up for failure.
I find that parentling styles recycle themselves every alternate generation. Example: In the 40s-60s generation, parents had many more kids and needed to work, so they had no time for their kids, except when their permissions were needed in schools. Those kids were "trained" to be independent and without much parental guidance or involment by circumstances. Kids growing up in that era might feel neglected and unloved.
When those kids grew up and have their own kids in the 70s-80s, they promised not to repeat the same parenting styles they received. Instead, they gave lots of time for for own kids and be very involved in their kids' lives as much as possible. To these parents, they were protecting their kids. On the other hand, these kids felt that their parents didn't give them enough independence and didn't trust them. They then promised not to treat their future kids in the same way.
So today's younger parents gave lots of independence to their own kids and trust them fully, even when their kids were just 3 or 4 years old. They let them go to the public toilets on their own without supervision, or allow their only little girl to go for field trips with non family members, say 2 male friends of the parents. These modern parents fly trust that their little 3 or 4 years old girl cod manage with the 2 single family male friends. I believe this little girl would feel unprotected when she grows up. And the cycles of different Gen parenting frustrarions would repeat.
I keep giving my son money to teach him about money but he spends it in a matter of days. He has no concept of how to wisely hold back on spending even when I advise him to do so. I throw my hands up because instead of building his confidence it has broken our relationship and he resents me as though that money is expected. I tried. I failed but I'm done. He'll be 18 in November, he should just get a job to see how important money is.
I can relate with what you are trying to tell. And I know what I am doing is not right. Because I don’t see any results. But the problem is you are not telling what to say to the teenagers. So not very helpful. Jai Sri Ram
I found the video absurd like current parenting norms. I will agree don’t do mistake number 3. Ur kid doesn’t become teen in a day. Before he/she becomes teen you have 12 years to nurture them. Keep your kid near to you. Seek happiness in family time and with kids when they are small. Associate them with you. Have a great bond. Love never spoils a kid. But obsession over your kids and not giving them time and right parenting spoils them. When kids are small parents are busy with their phones and office work and when they turn teen they find the child rebellious. When kids are small, parents fight with other parents over swings in the park, or if the kid tells them they had a fight in school (of course showcasing themselves good and other kid bad) the parent’s response is like as if they are giving suggestion to an adult. Not realising they are just kids. Next day again they will play together. Other kid is also of same age. Parents should teach love and kindness and other good things…the world is there to teach them other things. Ignored childhood turn into a rebellious teen age.
TIME TIME TIME TIME GIVE YOUR TIME TO CHILDREN. Love make them strong. They will always remain associated with you.
No phone,no iPad,no music,no laptop,no wearing t-shirts and jeans cause I'm Muslim,no playing vedio games and when I ask them to put me in extra carriculars except for swimming they say no and say go study I'm 14 I have no privacy I even have to use my mom's phone to watch stuff
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Shouting at him
My parents told me this constantly. It got so bad that I tried to avoid conversations with them.
Many mistakes I have made to post them now; however, I will work on them, and post them later. 😂
Thank you ❤
Reality is not as easy as the theory, u don't need to be a perfect parent and vice versa for the kids, u just need to accept imperfections
these can imply to your spouse too, everybody makes mistakes guide them through with medium talk.
I became a dad at the age of 16 . One thing I’ve replied with my 13-year-old boy and 11-year-old daughter always give them unconditional love even if. Show empathy and everything that has to do with them. If they make a mistake, always empathize and find solutions. Don’t take anything personal . But always be firm and loving . Don’t be so firm and permissive. Kids hate when you set boundaries, but they hate it more when you don’t.
So my brother will not wear deodorant he games all day and smells really bad I don't saying anything unless its brought up … But today my mom brought it up while i took him out fishing saying "its OK son if you don't want to wear deodorant it OK its just body oder Jesus didnt wear deodorant "…..yet his bullied for smelling at school and I though I love him i can not be around him for long because he sticks …. it just feels like shes enabling him by treating him like a" baby "when his 15 teen and setting him up for failure.
Thank you♥️
All of these will be avoided by not just having kids.
I find that parentling styles recycle themselves every alternate generation. Example:
In the 40s-60s generation, parents had many more kids and needed to work, so they had no time for their kids, except when their permissions were needed in schools. Those kids were "trained" to be independent and without much parental guidance or involment by circumstances. Kids growing up in that era might feel neglected and unloved.
When those kids grew up and have their own kids in the 70s-80s, they promised not to repeat the same parenting styles they received. Instead, they gave lots of time for for own kids and be very involved in their kids' lives as much as possible. To these parents, they were protecting their kids. On the other hand, these kids felt that their parents didn't give them enough independence and didn't trust them. They then promised not to treat their future kids in the same way.
So today's younger parents gave lots of independence to their own kids and trust them fully, even when their kids were just 3 or 4 years old. They let them go to the public toilets on their own without supervision, or allow their only little girl to go for field trips with non family members, say 2 male friends of the parents. These modern parents fly trust that their little 3 or 4 years old girl cod manage with the 2 single family male friends. I believe this little girl would feel unprotected when she grows up. And the cycles of different Gen parenting frustrarions would repeat.
I love they will change when they feel understood
And what do we do when your teen wants to have no limits,go out till whenever …at 15 ?
Thanks for the video it is helping us understanding the parenting for this generation teens❤️
I think my mom made all these mistakes and I'm 25 🙁
I mean, what are you to do when you were born with ADHD? 😢
🙏🏼
A mistake was not giving teens enough chores just because they do sports .
I do every wrong thing constantly. It seems impossible to stop.
When teens are watching these videos by themselves 😢
Continually giving them accolades and validation is just as toxic as constant criticism. I'm startint to think it's evevn worse.
So happy i came across ur channel! I’ve made so many of these mistakes and dont wanna hurt my teen. I wanna be better for her! Thank u!
Parent of an eight year old here. I feel like this all also applies
I keep giving my son money to teach him about money but he spends it in a matter of days. He has no concept of how to wisely hold back on spending even when I advise him to do so. I throw my hands up because instead of building his confidence it has broken our relationship and he resents me as though that money is expected. I tried. I failed but I'm done. He'll be 18 in November, he should just get a job to see how important money is.
I can relate with what you are trying to tell. And I know what I am doing is not right. Because I don’t see any results.
But the problem is you are not telling what to say to the teenagers. So not very helpful.
Jai Sri Ram
I found the video absurd like current parenting norms.
I will agree don’t do mistake number 3.
Ur kid doesn’t become teen in a day. Before he/she becomes teen you have 12 years to nurture them.
Keep your kid near to you. Seek happiness in family time and with kids when they are small. Associate them with you. Have a great bond. Love never spoils a kid.
But obsession over your kids and not giving them time and right parenting spoils them. When kids are small parents are busy with their phones and office work and when they turn teen they find the child rebellious.
When kids are small, parents fight with other parents over swings in the park, or if the kid tells them they had a fight in school (of course showcasing themselves good and other kid bad) the parent’s response is like as if they are giving suggestion to an adult. Not realising they are just kids. Next day again they will play together. Other kid is also of same age.
Parents should teach love and kindness and other good things…the world is there to teach them other things.
Ignored childhood turn into a rebellious teen age.
TIME TIME TIME TIME GIVE YOUR TIME TO CHILDREN. Love make them strong. They will always remain associated with you.
I have borderline personality disorder myself.
Parenting my teenagers has been sooooo difficult…
They run high and low, and so do I. 😢
Maybe I should look into parenting with bpd. It doesn't always effect me. But with my last two teenagers, (16f, 13m) it really has been… 😪
My mom and dad really need to watch this I literally have 0 freedom in my house and if I rebel. They will hit me typical Pakistani parents
No phone,no iPad,no music,no laptop,no wearing t-shirts and jeans cause I'm Muslim,no playing vedio games and when I ask them to put me in extra carriculars except for swimming they say no and say go study I'm 14 I have no privacy I even have to use my mom's phone to watch stuff
Two mistakes I am making
are being overprotective and always criticizing
Effective
Let the consequences do the talking